


What's In A Name

by AccioInvisibilityCloak



Category: Lovely Little Losers
Genre: (like seriously if that grosses you out think twice before reading), Alcohol, BALTHDAY, Drunkenness, Established Beadick, Gen, Implied Unrequited Pedrazar, Reconciliation, Reluctant Friendship, Socially Anxious Benedick, Swearing, Vomit, missing moment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-29 07:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7674661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AccioInvisibilityCloak/pseuds/AccioInvisibilityCloak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben is struggling not to let his anxiety take over at Balthazar's birthday party. Fortunately, a very drunk Peter and a no-nonsense Rosa help distract him long enough to snap out of it- and he might even find that he and Rosa have something in common. Enemy, debate partner, flatmate's older sister- an unexpected friend by any other name is still as sweet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's In A Name

**Author's Note:**

> TW vomiting and drunkenness, in case you missed the tags. Stay safe, friends!

          *******

             All Benedick had wanted to do was to escape. He’d been having a miserable time at this party, constantly second-guessing everything, worrying that it wasn’t good enough, wasn’t fun enough for Balthazar. This party had to be perfect; it was the least he could do for his friend.

 Ben felt as though everyone was staring at him, like they knew exactly what he had done to Peter and Balth. They were supposed to be his friends, and he put their most heartbreaking moment online for the world to see. Now, he was positive that everyone here must hate him for it. He could hardly blame them. Ever since the video had gone up, he’d been hating himself for it too.

But there were things you could never take back, Ben knew. Things that changed you from a good person into a potentially awful person, a person no one wants to be around at all. And he’d already been sitting alone for so much of the night- that had to be his answer, didn’t it? No one wanted him at this party. He was either an awful person, or an invisible one.

He didn’t see Beatrice anywhere, and he didn’t have the energy to try to talk to anyone else. It was just too hard right now. Ben wanted to run into his room and hide for the rest of the night. The worst thing was, the others wouldn’t even notice if he did. Taking a deep breath, Ben started towards the safety and the quiet of his bedroom door.

 

            He only got about halfway down the hall before his path was blocked by a positively sloshed Peter Donaldson. Peter greeted him with a big sloppy smile, a half-empty bottle still in his hand.

“Ben!” Peter laughed, pounding him hard on the back. Ben coughed as the wind was almost knocked out of him by Peter’s blow.

“Hey, Ped- er, Peter, how’re you doing? Having fun? Maybe… a little too much fun?” Ben asked, putting a steadying hand on his shoulder.

“Oh, yeah,” Peter grinned. “’M having the best time, Benny-boy. The best time! All my friends are here, and nothing is lonely or sad. I don’t feel a thing! That’s the best feeling, you know? I don’t hafta care about all this rules bullshit. I can just live my fuckin’ life, right here at this party. I am _so_ happy. So! _Happy_!”

“That’s great, Pete. I’m glad,” Ben said, offering an uncomfortable smile. “Can I catch up with you later, buddy? I have to…”

“Aw, come on, bro!” Peter said. “You’re such a _downer_. _Fuck_ you. Listen, I’m just gonna keep living it up, all by myself. Don’t need you anyway. I’m so…”

He leaned against the wall, his face suddenly going paler, his already bloodshot eyes bugging out as he clutched at his stomach.

“You sure you’re feeling okay?” Ben asked, and Peter nodded, his face screwed up against the pain.

“I’m so h- happy…” Peter slurred, leaning heavily against the wall. “I… I’m… ohhh…”

He was sick. All over himself. All over the ground, and the wall, and Ben’s feet.

 

            Ben stood frozen, horrified, staring down at the warm, gunky mess seeping into the carpet and his socks. “’M sorry,” Peter whimpered, tears glazing his eyes. “Couldn’t make it to the-” He doubled over with another wave of nausea, and Ben grabbed him by the shoulders, holding Peter up as he continued to retch, his whole body trembling with the effort to expel all that alcohol.

Ben was battling the urge to run to the bathroom and take off these ruined socks. The rancid scent of vomit only made him want to be sick too. Brain in a fog of anxiety and disgust, Ben almost didn’t notice another person running up to them in the hallway, swearing under her breath.

“Here,” said Rosa Jones, appearing, seemingly out of nowhere, with the bathroom garbage bin in one hand. “Aim for this, Peter. Just get it all out, you’re going to be okay. Benedick, you idiot, were you really just going to let him keep chundering on the carpet indefinitely? Do something useful and help me get him to bed.”

“You don’t have to-” Ben started, supporting Peter with an arm around the drunken boy’s waist as Rosa grabbed him from the other side, shaking her head.

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll get him to bed, and then I’ll need a better sick bucket for him, and some water. And maybe some crackers, to settle his stomach,” Rosa grunted the last few words as she lowered Peter onto the bed. She set about removing his soiled socks and jeans, with the platonic air of an exasperated friend who has experience with the aftereffects of drink.

Ben realized he was staring at her about the same time as Rosa did.

“What? I’ve been out partying in at least seventeen different countries already. I know how to deal with people who are drunk, okay?” Rosa snapped. “Besides, my brother will never forgive us- or himself- if we don’t make sure this idiot’s all right.”

She probably expected Ben to argue, or perhaps demand to hear the stories of her escapades. Instead, Ben cleared his throat, nodding towards Peter’s dresser.

“There’ll be sweatpants or something in there that he can put on, and I’ll take the dirty clothes to the laundry so they won’t make everything stink. We have a big mixing bowl in the kitchen, should be in the first cabinet next to the sink, he can use that. And there are glasses for water there, and probably some crackers. I’ll take care of the mess in the hall if you deal with Pete here.”

He couldn’t help grimacing at the thought of cleaning up that puddle of sick. Just the tiny bit of it still on his socks was enough to turn him green. But at least it would make a perfect excuse not to socialize for the time being. And it got him away from Rosa, who he was still afraid might bite his head off given the slightest provocation. Ben would do just about anything to avoid that- even if he did deserve it.

 

            The puddle in the hall was still fresh enough that the cleanup was fairly easy. Once Ben had finished disinfecting the floor, walls, and his feet- _ugh_ \- he headed back to Peter’s room.

The patient was awake, and Rosa was hovering over him, pressing a wet cloth to his forehead to snap him out of it. Ben leaned in the doorway, watching them. It amused him, how gentle and kind Rosa was turning out to be, in a crisis. She’d probably think that assessment was sexist of him, but it was true. It didn’t seem to fit with his first impression of her at all. Weird.

Rosa was now trying to get Peter to try some crackers, to settle his stomach. He reluctantly took one, seeming to realize for the first time who exactly was taking care of him.

“Ahh, my savior,” slurred Peter, still clutching the large plastic mixing bowl in his lap in case of further vomit. “The great and terrible Rosamund Jones. You’re not quite as beautiful as your brother, though… Hey! Put in a good word for me, would you? Come on, he’ll listen to you…”

“Yeah, that’s going to happen,” Rosa snorted, and Ben fought to suppress a laugh. Okay, _there_ was the Rosa he knew. But seriously, _Rosamund_?

As if on cue, she whipped around. Shit. Apparently Ben hadn’t been laughing quietly enough.

"Don't you dare, asshole.” Rosa brandished the wet washcloth at Ben, a droplet of water landing on his cheek.

“Don’t I dare, what?” he grinned wickedly. “Call you by your name?”

“My name is _Rosa_. Got it?” she hissed, tossing the washcloth onto Peter’s nightstand and stalking out into the hall.

"What's so wrong with Rosamund?" Ben asked, following her and closing Peter’s door behind him, leaving him alone to sleep it off.

"It's _embarrassing_ , okay? It makes me sound like the bitchy ginger aunt from Downton Abbey, and I hate it, so stop using it. I mean it, I will _end_ you.”

"Whoa, whoa, okay! I won't call you Ro-” He stopped, cowed by her furious glare, and changed tack. “…anything but Rosa. I swear!"

She nodded imperiously and headed down the hall towards the kitchen. “Where do you guys keep the- oh, will you grow up, already?"

Ben couldn’t help it; he’d let out another soft snort of laughter behind her back.

             "It's just a bit rich, don't you think? Going around complaining about your name to someone whose nerdy parents called him _Benedick_? If anyone has the right to be embarrassed, it’s me, not you."

"Oh, please. You love your name, you make dick jokes at your own expense all the time. They're not funny, by the way,” Rosa said rudely.

Ben shrugged. "Better than letting other people say them for me. I just beat them to the punchline, so _I’m_ the only one who gets to make fun of me now. Theoretically, anyway."

"You never thought of just changing your name? I would, if I were you.”

"Well," Ben pretended to consider this. "I dunno, I don't think ‘Benedick Duke’ has quite the right ring to it. Too many ‘K’ sounds. I suppose Bea and I will just have to keep our own names, or hyphenate, if it comes to that. Why?"

"Oh my God, does Beatrice know you're thinking that far ahead?" laughed Rosa. 

"Hey, I can daydream!"

Rosa rolled her eyes. “That poor, poor girl.”

"I'm _kidding_ ," Ben assured her, holding up his hands. "Actually, I do like my name, come to that. It's weird, but it's unique. And sometimes the jokes are funny. It's just after an entire adolescence of people laughing when I introduced myself and drawing dicks on my notebooks when I wasn't looking, it gets a little old."

"What do you suggest I do, then... _Benedick_?" Rosa says his full name with a wicked little flourish, not to be missed.

Ben sighed tiredly. “I don’t know, _Rosamund_. Keep doing what you’re already doing, I guess. Introduce yourself as Rosa, then no one ever knows about your secret life as a Downton Abbey character. That’s why everyone at uni only knows me as Ben. I planned ahead on that one.”

“Oh, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that before,” she snarked. “However can I thank you?”

            He really intended to come up with some flippant answer, tailored to piss her off. Instead, the worst possible thing came out of his mouth. Ben wasn’t sure what made him ask the question. All he knew was that whatever he was doing to push people away, to make them disdain him so much, he wanted to stop doing it. He wanted to fix things. So he asked.

“You could tell me… why you hate me so much?”

Silence.

Rosa’s face darkened as she stared at him. “I really just thought you were annoying before,” she said simply. “Now, though, I actually do hate you a little bit, because you hurt my baby brother.”

Her words hit Ben like a punch to the gut, because they were finally real. He’d spent all night fearing them, feeling them radiate from everyone who so much as looked at him- and here was a person with the guts to actually say them to his face. He was a person capable of deserving to be hated.

 “You shouldn’t have posted that video, you know,” Rosa continued. “You shouldn’t have done that to Balthazar and Peter. They’ve got enough problems without you butting in all the time. I should know; I’m the one that has to listen to Balthazar being all mopey about it over the phone every night. He deserves better from his friends.”

Ben sighed. “Rosa, I know. I was a right jackass and I feel awful about it and I’m doing my best to fix it, I promise.”

“You didn’t let me finish,” Rosa pointed out. “I don’t like people who hurt my brother. He’s been through more than enough already. I should kick your ass for what you did. But you also helped me plan this party to make it up to him. You helped me give Balthazar the birthday he deserves. I can see you're trying to make things right. And, I mean, Beatrice likes you, so you must have _some_ redeeming qualities, I suppose.”

“Gee, thanks,” said Ben.

Rosa gave him a look. “The point is, I appreciate it. You. When you’re not being completely thoughtless, I guess you’re sort of all right.”

“You’re welcome,” Ben said with a tired half-smile. “You know, you’re not so bad yourself. I couldn’t have done any of this party stuff without you, Rosa.”

“And don’t you forget it,” Rosa smiled. “…Hey, so I’m just going to go make sure Peter has plenty of painkillers for when he wakes up. He’ll need them.”

“Right. I’ll catch you later?” Ben said, and Rosa nodded and walked away.

Well. That was unexpected.

 

         Walking through the living room again a while later, Ben still felt as though everyone at the party was staring straight at him. But maybe he didn’t have to listen to their hypothetical judgements, as long as he really tried to make things right. Maybe he wasn’t as alone here as he’d first thought. He had Rosa’s forgiveness, and her thanks, and that made a start. After all, a new friend by any other name was still as sweet.

*******

**Author's Note:**

> So basically, back when the series was still airing and people were afraid Ben would end up with Rosa instead of Bea (lol, yeah, right), I came up with the ingenious idea of having Rosa's full name be something other than "Rosaline", which would definitively prove that she was not the Rosaline to Ben's Berowne and her name similarity to that character meant nothing. This fic is the result of that idea. And also of the fact that no one else ever jumped on the Ben and Rosa friendship train, and I thought we should explore that at least once. 
> 
> I've decided Rosa disappeared from the series because she was just starting uni classes again after her gap year, and things got really busy for her from this point onwards. She's studying International Relations or World Politics or whatever you need to study to become an Ambassador to a foreign country, so that traveling can be her life.


End file.
